Greetings from Omaha.

We bring you tidings of Comfort and Joy this New Year.

Since last we chatted so much has happened both physically and on a profound level.

The last time that Zachary, Dara and I were in Omaha about a month ago we were as low as a snake’s belly. Our cheerful dispositions had totally evaporated and in their place was left a pretty sad, mostly really, really mad, frustrated, angry … you get the point … trio. A nurse would enter the room and ask if she could take Zachary’s counts and he would snap back, “NO.” Of course they did it anyway but there was little doubt that no one wanted to be there. Zachary was by no means the only one snarling and snapping. Dara and I were right there with him. This led to a pretty miserable couple of days. Thankfully it got SO bad and SO out of control that the three of us had a ‘little chat’.

The gist of it was that we cannot go on like this and win. If our plan is to go down in a ball of flames, we are executing that plan flawlessly. We need to regroup because that’s a pretty poor plan! As we all know, attitudes can turn on a dime. Ours did. After our ‘chat’ we once again became the delight of the oncology ward.

Let me not mislead you into thinking that we just painted stupid grins on our faces and called it a day. Life got damn hard very quickly. Days after returning, Zachary had a seizure because his brain swelled at the base from the chemo. He fell off his bed and broke his face. At 4am Dara called us after calling 911. Our homes are about 90 seconds from each other at full running speed I found out. Zachary and Dara in an ambulance and Michael and I in our car went to the hospital. I will spare you the incredible agony of this part of the story because I don’t want to retell it and some things are just Zachary’s to know. After that he was in intensive care for several days while his fever spiked to 105 and his family kept a 24 hour vigil at his bed side. We also asked our attorney to visit him in the hospital to make sure that all medical and legal documents were in order. Not only did he show up, he was wonderful. It was an incredibly tough time for us all.

After Zachary was discharged from the ICU he was in the hospital for a few days. During that time his local oncologist Dr. Joyce took over his care. May I just say for the record that our family LOVES THAT WOMAN. Samson, Zachary’s older brother, and I were visiting him one morning in the hospital when Dr. Joyce stopped by. She asked Zachary if anyone had explained to him how painful a nonrelated donor transplant could be and how risky it is.

He said no. Then he said with tears in his eyes, ‘Dr. Joyce, I’m 26 years old. I have nothing to lose.’

And there you have it. No matter what happens, until they tell Zachary that there is ZERO hope, he’s going for full recovery. And why not??

The plan is to continue with chemo to reduce the tumors. They are combing the world, yes the world, for a donor match. They have several people that they are looking at right now but the process for him is in its infancy. Combing the world for a donor. How cool is that?? Maybe his southern twang will turn into a French accent! (Just kidding about the accent.)

I’d like to give you a gift of a story for the New Year. It was one that changed my world.

Zachary is as bald as a billiard ball, which makes his twinkling eyes sparkle even more. On his way out the door after celebrating Christmas he says to me, “Ann, I know what I’m supposed to do now.” I said, ‘what?’ He said, ‘all I have to do is to be in the moment. That’s it Ann, that’s all.’ And I said to him, ‘and while were at it, let’s be joyfully in the moment.’ To which he said, ‘well yeah!! That way no matter what happens, I’ll have a great life.’

No matter what unfolds in 2008 we intend to live joyful, wonderful lives. We hope you choose to join us.

Love,

Ann